From: "settummanque, the blackeagle" (Mike Walton)
Via: Scouts-L Youth Programs Discussion List

(From "Patches and Pins" (or "The Quest for the Silver Beaver...."), by Mike Walton (c) 1988)

How can one tell the better Scouting meetings from those that just are, well, average??

Take a look at the parking lot after the meeting is over. Or take a look in the hallway of the unit's meeting area after the meeting. Or find out where all of the adults are going to "get a bite to eat" after the meeting is over.

If the parking lot still has bodies standing around on it 30 minutes after the meeting's over, the meeting was a success. If the parking lot still has people on it 45 to 60 minutes after the meeting, the meeting was an overwhelming success -- or you have a lot of cars needing jumps!!

The parking lot - a special place. In the day, the lot serves as a place to sit your car as you entered into the church, the school, the community center. It was the pavement in which the wheels of your car rested against while you are inside your car, searching for that last dime or quarter or penny before making your purchase.

It was the place where you had the outdoor yard sale. The car washes and drive-by drink stand. The location where the buses would pick up the kids and take them home after a long day at school. It was the practice area for the high school and college bands. It was also the place where in some communities, auctions would be held to dispose of personal properties.

At night, it becomes something else. A place whereby teens can meet and greet each other. A barometer of attendance at a particular community or church program or event. A skating surface. If the lot's not lighted properly, a make-out location. Some parking lots never closed, because the places that they serve as parking areas for, never closed... In those cases, the parking area became an observation area for the rough edges and strangers of the community and society as a whole.

Scouting meetings are notorious for three things. The program that is pre-set by someone, which normally cannot be changed nor altered by anyone else for any reason except an emergency. Those in attendance don't disagree nor complain about the length, nor topic of the meeting. And the REAL meeting, the reason why you came in the first place, happens BEFORE and AFTER the meeting, usually in the parking lot of the locaiton where the meeting takes place at.

In the parking lot. If it's raining, it'll take place inside parked cars IN the parking lot. If not, you'll see Scouts and Scouters standing around literally until midnight talking up in excited voices about what occured in there that evening. Swapping ideas and pieces of embrodered cloth. Sharing pieces of paper, writing down addresses, phone numbers and making maps.

As a youth, I remember those times very well. The Troop meeting was set from 6:30 to 8:00 pm every Monday night. I never made it home until at least 9 or close to 10pm, in time to change clothes, take a bath and go to bed. What would happen in that hour and a half or more AFTER the meeting?? We would stand around and talk about the way the Senior Patrol Leader got hit on the head. We would marvel about how smart Mr. Zuniga or Mr. Roberts were -- they knew EVERYTHING about Scouting, or so we thought. We would stand out in the cool air, the wind sometimes whipping our neckerchief ends into our faces or across our chests, and talk about the "hot babe" in our English or Psychology class and how we would work up the courage to ask her out. We would cross our legs, standing there, and a few minutes later, uncross them as we would literally talk about every and anything -- whether or not it related to Scouting.

We would be out there until someone "wimped out" and had to go home with their Mom or Dad; or until we almost peed in our pants from standing outside in the cold (the building in which the meeting was to be held was closed and locked up almost an hour ago....we all stopped long enough to wave the custodian "bye" as he backed out and went to his family). Or until one of us decided that the topics were getting too bland or too racy for our "tender ears" and started their walk home.

People would walk up, and walk away from the discussions and join other ones. Usually, it would be adults with adults and youth with youth, but later on after Order of the Arrow Ordeals, or Brotherhood cerermonies; or after the District or Council Committee meetings; or after an Exploring cabinet meeting, adult and youth would stand around and talk about, well, anything and everything.

As an adult, we did more or less the same things after the meetings. We would talk with each other about families. About the wife that doesn't understand this "male bonding ritual" that didn't include drinking, nor corrassing, nor "bar-hopping". About our children and our personal pride in what they've done. I remember proudly telling my three Assistant Scoutmasters and our Senior Patrol Leader after a meeting that my baby girl started walking earlier. "Won't be too long before you have to go and get that shotgun, Mike", one of them replied.

We would save such discussions for AFTER the meeting. We would fill the meeting with talk -- and we would get things accomphished for the most part. But the real discussions about whether or not the Camporee will "fly" at a particular state park; whether or not our professional District Executive was "full of it" or our volunteer District Commissioner is a "patsy"; and real talk about how well did the meeting go and what things we can work with the kids to try to make it better for them.....those discussions took place before we all got into our cars and went home to our families and took off the Scouting uniform for another day.

"Let's talk about it later" was short-hand for "Meet you in the parking lot and we'll talk about it there." Only if you REALLY had to go someplace after the meeting was it returned with "we really need to talk about this now".

Otherwise, it waited until after the meeting and after all of those that "just had to get home" got into their cars, trucks or station wagons and headed their hoods toward their living quarters. Or at least to the 7-11 down the road to pick up those things the wife or husband or roommate said "don't come home without".

Once outside, we would stand and talk about those topics. We did talk about the executive, but it was usually tempered with "he's okay....he's just new. We're going to have to break him in right, that's all." and very seldom terribily horrible words were spoken about him. Volunteers, however, were open season: we can call each other all kinds of names for the stupid stuff we did.

Or the bright, intellegent stuff that "makes me glad he's the *Council's* Commissioner!"

If we talked about anyone, it was usually about our wives. They seldom understood what it was that we did in Scouting. Usually, after Roundtable meetings, we would stand around in the parking lot, REALLY introducing each other, and REALLY talking about what brought us to Roundtable this month: the opportunity to talk about what's been going on with _us_ over the past month.

"Why can't you do something else", one Scouter would mock his wife, standing in the middle of the parking lot with his hands on his hips. "I know what you all do in them Boy Scouts -- you all stand around and get drunk!" We all would laugh and respond that our wives pretty much said the same things...and then we would enter into a philosophical discussion, usually ending with "we need to be running the BSA, you know...we know what's right and we'll get it done!" or something like that.

Occassionally, one of our "stand" (it wasn't really a crowd and it really wasn't personal conversations with just another Scouter) would express his -- or later her -- fears about "doing what's right for the boys". We would watch as grown men, men with full beards and mustaches and lots of facial and body hair, become young boys as they tearfully recount how they got Jimmy to finally get INTO the water, and to start dog-paddling. Or how Steven Farmer came back to the Troop meeting and cried to be let back in as a member. Or how it's "taken *this long* to realize that I can't do all of this stuff by myself".

Or a woman, strong, cool and very collected back there inside the building, basically telling more senior Scouters to "shut up and sit down -- I'm doing this presentation, thank you very much!", erupt into tears -- real tears, not pity ones -- because she didn't know that Second Class came BEFORE First Class...."I just want them all to become Eagle Scouts", she sobbed, "and I don't want to be any hinderance. Whatever possessed me to become a Scoutmaster!"

We conforted her and confirmed that we too, doubted our abilities as trainers and coaches of youth, as well on occassion. She'll do fine.

Our brains were recording the backfire from a car two blocks over. The occassional radio, blaring from a car with its windows down. The yelling of a mother for her child to "git in this house right now or I'ma coming out there!"

But all we were hearing were the voices of fellow Scouters, talking about their successes: "Man, you've GOT to go to Slippery Falls next summer! It is a great place, and the people there know how to put on a great program!!"

"I've got Nicky almost ready for his Eagle project...now if I can just kick his tail into doing the project, it'll be grand! I'll have-- I mean we'll have -- our FIRST Eagle Scout!!"

"Greg must have been from a slow family. Tonight, I had a Scoutmaster' Conference with him and he _finally_ understands what soap and water's good for!"

And there were several nights, nights already full of emotion after leaving the house and an argument over "what's more important: your family or someone else' kids", completing a long meeting in which several times you had to take axe handles away from two young combatants ("You know you cheated in that skill award!"), and finally admitting that "there's more to this Scoutmastering than I thought".....in which it was MY turn to break down and tearfully ask those others to "understand" what I'm saying.

And they do. In the parking lot, before we all returned to our homes.

*****

Settummanque!